Week 2 of our Trailer Story, where we predict the plot of a film based on it’s all too revealing trailer.
Water for Elephants
A veterinary student abandons his studies after his parents are killed and joins a traveling circus as their vet. (seriously)
To be perfectly honest, you don’t even need to see the trailer for this one to figure it out – the poster is pretty obvious. Boy joins circus, boy meets girl who happens to be his boss’ miserable and unloved wife. Boy and girl bond over elephant (naturally, it’s where i meet most of my lovers) and fall desperately in love. Spot the evil man watching them – bet it gets violent and they have to run away – hopefully on the back of an elephant.
00:14 – Solitary figure walks along a railway track. My guess? It’s Robbie Pattinson and he’s lonely. Maybe because his parents are dead. But we don’t know that yet.
00:42 – “And there is your destiny” guess we’re off on a jolly adventure of self discovery then…
Robbie then boards a train and joins the circus. As you do.
01:01 – And lo, from within a cloud of sunshine arrives the love interest. On horseback. Methinks the plot might be thickening.
01:12 – We soon learn the pretty lady is the boss’ wife and the star of the show. We also learn, thanks to a rather seductive and unsubtle glance across the table, that she has eyes for the broody vet.
Cue lots of shots of amazing animals and lots of talk about powerful animals, which I assume is supposed to make us consider the power of man and all that crud. It’s highly likely there’ll be a troublesome elephant that only Robbie can communicate with – I’ve got a fiver on that little plot detail.
01:34 – I’ve only included this picture because if you WERE fighting with Reese Witherspoon you’d definitely grab her by the chin. Oh yes, and it helps us root for her and the broody vet if her hubby is a bit of a monster!
All of this is swiftly followed by a montage of stolen kisses, being caught by hubby and him threatening Robbie with what looks like a metal pole. Reminiscent of Moulin Rouge, the girl should run away with the doting boy but she’s only ever been a circus star and she’s scared – what is she if she’s not a star? She may as well stay – what could possibly go wrong?
02:17 – Oh. That could happen. The show could go horribly wrong, the animals could get loose and people have to run away screaming while our broody vet tries to find his love in the chaos… can he save her?
To sum up – she’s clearly going to die and he’s going to regret not insisting she run way with him. Then there’ll be some rubbish about ‘better to have loved and lost…’ and the whole thing will probably have some older version of the broody vet character who looks back over it all with whimsy and never recalls that he always smelled faintly of elephant poo.
It’s out on the 4th May. I promise I’ve not read the book!