Film Reviews — 22 July 2011

Written by:

Almighty Thor

Director: Christopher Ray
Screenplay: Eric Estenberg
Starring: Cody Deal, Patricia Velasquez, Kevin Nash, Richard Grieco
Year: 2011
Country: USA
BBFC Classification: 12

Why do I do this to myself? I love B-movies. Hell, I love low budget, trashy and quite often, just plain shit movies. Stuff packed with ridiculous concepts, low rent action and dodgy special effects. Almighty Thor has all of these but damn if it isn’t just a little too low budget, trashy and shit even for my low standards. You see, there are B-movies and then there are The Asylum movies. The Asylum is a low budget production house specialising in quick cash grab mock-busters (as in Almighty Thor being a cheapie knock off of the recently released big budget Thor). Some of The Asylum films have been fun (I Am Omega, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus) while others not so much (Alien vs Hunter and, well, Almighty Thor).

This brain numbing 80 minutes of constant noise, cheap effects, background music that never once stops and ropey acting will test the patience of even the most hardened B-movie aficionado. As the film begins, Thor (Deal) is a bit of a hopeless weed and loses his dad Odin (Nash) and brother Baldir to the evil Loki (Greico), who some how manages to quash an entire army and empire with a sceptre that fires lightning bolts and three giant monster wolves. So, Thor randomly teams up with some warrior babe (that one chick from the Mummy movies) and after 40 minutes running around a forest, they are all transported to modern day Los Angeles in search of the Hammer of Invincibility. What follows, is another headache inducing 40 mins of running around empty streets and warehouses with random special effects popping up here, there and everywhere.

There is no coherency, no sense of fun and the movie is screaming out to have its tongue firmly planted in its cheek but instead plays everything almost dead serious. Ugh. On top of this there is the shoddy effects (though the giant wolves and other beasties are kinda cool) and music that seems to be constantly playing. I swear it never once stopped, just continuing throughout the whole running time robbing the flick of any pace and more importantly (and especially important for a B-movie about vikings battling it out in modern day LA,) fun. It’s not even fun in a cheesy, so-bad-it’s-good kinda way.

Ok, so former 21 Jump Street star Richard Grieco adds some campy value as Loki, there is the “awesome” sight of Thor brandishing uzi’s as his weapon of choice and the makers at least pack in tons of action and wholesale destruction (though most of it is ruined by pointless slow motion and just plain crazy editing). Like I said, I like B-movies (I gave Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus 3 stars for crying out loud) but Almighty Thor was just one giant headache of a film.

Review by Andrew Skeates

Flick is released on DVD on 29th August 2011 from Metrodome. It comes with the usual making of and a blooper reel, which might have been funny if they had left the sound on and not added that damn incessant music.

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