Welcome to our latest trailer story – where we figure out the (usually obvious) plot of a film based on the trailer. This time we’re putting on our detective caps to see if we can figure out the plot of Restitution.
A true crime writer investigates a murder spree surrounding insurance fraud, and uncovers the devastating truth that leads him on a path of revenge and changes his life and the town forever.
Now, this has to be one of the least thrilling trailers I’ve ever seen for a crime thriller film. It looks, first and foremost, like a bad TV movie; something to mock on a sunday afternoon after a few too many gins with lunch. Watch the trailer if only for awfully choreographed stunts and fights scenes (I can’t decide if the car roll or the double uppercut punch is my favourite) I think this comment on youtube says it best: “Ha Ha, looks hilarious. Coming soon to a poundland near you.”(DeathFromAbove1981 – you are my new favourite movie reviewer!)
Right, let’s get on with the mocking!
00:08 Whoa – 8 seconds in and we’re already seeing people get shot… So, here we have a strange man, trying to jimmy someone’s front door open while chattering on about a flat tyre – is he legit? Well it seems not…
Let’s meet our male lead, a writer examining the death of three people and their murderer – none other than the dude we saw at the start. We’re going to rattle through the first half of this trailer as it’s so boring I’m likely to fall alseep typi……….zzzzzzzzzzzzzsfffttuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…………….
00:24 What? What did i miss??
oh, just a dead footballer player, followed by some exposition (“Bryan Spykes was a cold blooded killer” – he may as well have said “the dude we framed for these murders didn’t do it”) and some badly made footage supposed to be from a handicam but obviously not. THIS IS DULL – GET TO THE THRILLING STUFF!!
00:43 – ooooh… on the night of the murders he was following people involved in – wait for it, trust me, it’s worth it…. Insurance fraud!! I know – this shit just got good! (if by ‘good’ i mean ‘worse’ and by ‘shit’ i mean ‘total shit’).
Mena Suvari was his lady lover at the time – we know this cause we saw them make eye contact, talk about feelings and have that weird, bra-on sex that only people on the telly do. She wants to get to the bottom of this. Sure she does. At this point I’m already staking my bet that she’s involved with the bad guy, that our dude isn’t really dead and she’s hiding something – other than any acting ability, obviously!
More dodgy handicam footage (seriously, this dude filmed himself spying on people and then killing them?!) This time its someone lovingly wiping the ketchup off their machete onto the fake dead body. It’s a masterclass in cheap cinema.
More boring stuff – some drugs being shipped in, cut with scenes from the insurance dudes (i think that’s who they are, they’re all suited) and a Fake Vincent Price who stirs it up by suggesting Spykes was – GASP – set up!! We, as an audience, know this as we’ve just seen him drink some water and then perform a very bad fake death. And then jump from a bridge even though he’s supposed to be dead:
Oh, and Fake Vincent Price tells us he “wasn’t capable of murder” – this dude should be a lawyer.
01:02 This is the best bit of the trailer and where I realised the film is actually hiding its comic potential. The Fake Vincent Price panics and literally runs away in the exact same way Anna Faris’ character does in Scary Movie and in the style of Team America’s International distress signal, thus:
So, what’s next. And do we even care??
01:09 Some old dude in a hat getting beaten up (and an attempt to make it dramatic by adding dramatic music) followed by what i assumed would be be worst stunt in the trailer – the car roll. Seriously, watch it again – it’s astonishing.
01:20 This plot is thickening – there’s no body for Spyke!!! That was a TOTAL suprise. That I TOTALLY didn’t call earlier. Then it jollies on – cut to the suits freaking out (it’s obviously some insurance scam) then they blow his car up (another brilliant bit of stunt direction) a shifty looking Mena (she actually looks really spaced out in most of the shots… just saying…)
Despite all of this it’s still the most boring thing ever and it’s giving us the whole plot. Now the police are after him, he’s being attacked from all angles and somewhere along the line he watched the Twilight Films and stole this shot from them:
Ooh yeah… a slow-mo flipping the chess set over shot, followed by a badly choreographed fight scene. Edward Cullen would have loved it – it’s only missing a Bella Swan to catch just before she hits the floor. Everyone punches everyone, Mena escapes the bad guys and the writer gets mean. All of this is massively underwhelming and entirely devoid of any tension.
So – predications? I don’t really care. The insurance dudes did all the murdering to cover up fraud or something. The ‘twist’ is the dead guy isn’t really dead. The writer IS the dead guy (or maybe his evil twin?). I can confidently say though, this film will be shit and I learned this from the trailer. The trailer shows all the best (and I use that word gingerly) stunt bits and manages to give away the whole plot without once being interesting or exciting. I can’t even be bothered to look up when it’s out – wait for the Poundland DVD release!