DVD stack EDIT

It's been almost two years since our last post of Haiku Reviews. For the unfamiliar, it's when our writers and readers tweet reviews of what they've just watched in haiku form (adding #haikureview and @blueoprintrev so that we see them). If you don't know what a haiku is, it's a Japanese form of short poetry which consists of three phrases/verses. These contain a strict number of syllables; 5 in the first phrase, 7 in the second and 5 again in the final.

Well, I decided to bring them back in a spectacular fashion a couple of weeks ago. My wife and baby daughter went away for a fortnight to visit family, leaving me to my own devices. Having a rather large DVD/Blu-Ray/VHS collection, half of which haven't been watched yet, I decided to spend the two weeks watching as many films as humanly possible (in between work and meals of course). Thinking how best to log this momentous achievement, I remembered Blueprint's haiku reviews and realised it was the perfect way to track my thoughts and opinions on the glut of films I'd get through.

So without further ado, here is the full list of the 39 films I watched that fortnight (I actually watched 41, but I reviewed Ace in the Hole and Ninja: Shadow of a Tear properly so didn't feel the need).

[ezcol_1half] KILLER'S KISS
Quite clumsy and slow
Worth watching for its bold style
But for little else

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
Do I really need
To write a haiku about
How awesome this is?

MILLENNIUM ACTRESS
A breathtaking ode
To Japanese cinema
Feels rich yet simple

CHINA 9, LIBERTY 37
A terrible lead
Helps drag this slow spag western
Further in the dirt

MERANTAU WARRIOR
A pre-Raid Evans
Flexes his fight film muscles
Already hits hard

RIO BRAVO
Character driven
This great Western is a joy
From start to finish

TETSUO THE IRON MAN
Madness from Japan
Makes Lynch look like Ron Howard
My brain has been raped

Fly_poster

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD
Pop culture chaos
Doesn't always sit quite right
Yet still fresh and fun

JULES ET JIM
I wasn't gripped by
This bizarre love triangle
Seems lively yet drags

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS
Some great chemistry
Keeps this stoner action flick
Riding high throughout

VANISHING POINT (1971)
Great tunes, naked chicks
And non-stop car chase action
What more do you need?

42ND STREET
Bawdy musical
Saves its numbers for the end
But stays fun throughout

BEETLEJUICE
High concept madness
The like of which we don't get
In today's safe fare

EASY RIDER
A dying era
Captured here so perfectly
To bring forth the next

LE CERCLE ROUGE
Ultra-cool crime flick
Using minimal chatter
To thrill and enthral

UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
Van Damme and Lundgren
Blowing everything sky high
Always fun to watch

TAKEN
The film has its own
Particular set of skills
For daft non-stop thrills

No retreat no surrender

LES VACANCES DE M. HULOT
Who needs plot or chat
When you have sight gags and charm
Quaint and endearing

MIDNIGHT RUN
An excellent cast
Keep banter flowing throughout
This long but fun film

WILD STRAWBERRIES
Bergman ponders life
Which doesn't sound appealing
But trust me it's great!
[/ezcol_1half] [ezcol_1half_end] killers_kiss poster 1

THX 1138
Looks and sounds stunning
But struggles to match Orwell
In power and drive

MONDO TOPLESS
Give us a break guys
We all need some Russ Meyer
When the wife's away

THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE
Ford, Stewart and Wayne
The perfect combination
For a great Western

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK
Indy at his best
The perfect adventure film
Love every minute

CERTIFIED COPY
Cryptic head scratcher
With just enough wit and charm
To not feel too dry

THE FLY (1986)
I don't know whether
I should hide, cry or throw up
Icky yet classy

IT CAME FROM BENEATH THE SEA
Some cool stop motion
But clunky filler elsewhere
Cause this film to drag

SAFETY LAST!
Death defying stunts
And gags which haven't dated
Make this a great watch

BEFORE SUNSET
Improves on the first
Through its unique perspective
Now I need the third

THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE (1974)
Plenty of humour
And an excellent soundtrack
This heist is perfect

vanishing point poster cult movies

MCCULLIN
More than a bio
Musings on war and the press
Pack a hefty punch

THE PROPOSITION
This Ozzie Western
Uses striking atmosphere
To frame its bloodshed

HANZO THE RAZOR: SWORD OF JUSTICE
Twisted and depraved
Yet so utterly barmy
You can't help but laugh

THE GREAT DICTATOR
The satire is great
But the drama quite sappy
So quite hit and miss

NO RETREAT NO SURRENDER
Insanely cheesy
And all the better for it
So 80's it hurts

SUPER 8
Lens flares, bombs and flaws
Aren't enough to detract from
A strong yet sweet core

TOP HAT
Dancing cheek to cheek
Fred and Ginger charm us all
With light feet and tone

ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT
Grandad of war films
Still powerful as ever
Shows us how it's done

PRIMER
Indie time travel
That messed with my head so much
It needs rewatching
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About The Author

Editor of films and videos as well as of this site. On top of his passion for film, he also has a great love for music and his family.

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