In the first few minutes of this movie, you are shown everything that’s going to be coming up in the next 80 minutes of this classic B-Movie. A busty bikini-wearing woman runs very slowly through a creepy, foggy jungle while a cyber-mutant follows. Just as he is about to attack, a laser bolt kills the mutant and a silhouette menacingly approaches the screaming woman. If this sounds great to you, then you’ll probably enjoy the rest of the film because it’s more of this – bikini babes, mutants, robots, lasers and the most cringe-worthy dialogue I’ve heard in a long while.
The story follows Daria (Elizabeth Kaitan) and Tisa (Cindy Beal), two bikini-clad slave girls who escape captivity on a space cruiser, steal a small shuttle and proceed to crash into the closest planet. On a mysterious jungle island, they soon find the house of charming Zed (Don Scribner) sporting a pair of faux leather trousers so tight even Bowie would raise an eyebrow. After one night of Zed’s hospitality with his other guests, they notice everything is not as it seems.
It is essentially ‘The Most Dangerous Game’ in space. Zed, with the help of his argumentative robot servants, set his ‘guests’ loose in the jungle to hunt them for a sexual thrill. However, the challenge isn’t enough anymore, so he gives Daria, Tisa and another female guest a distinct advantage by telling them where they can find weapons…in the Phantom Zone! A place where “normal laws of time and space no longer apply”.
The film trucks at a fairly steady pace throughout; never really getting too exciting, but never being boring. However, you will have to suffer through some awful, awful dialogue. The two leads have the acting ability and chemistry of plastic forks (and even less understanding of comic timing) – the robots show more emotion and humour than these two. Actually, the two servant robots do have some enjoyable interactions; they manage to upstage Tisa’s boobs as they argue in front of her splashing around in the sea. Scribner, on the other hand, plays a great villain. Now I’m not sure if it’s his performance or because he looks extremely similar to Christian Bale in American Psycho, but his character is genuinely unsettling.
I was surprised to read about the controversy this film caused in 1992. I know politicians are always ones to blame films for anything, but even for its time this film seems rather tame. If you’re watching this for sex or nudity, you’ll be very disappointed. This film has the same attitude to sex as Hitchcock does to cameos. Saying that, unlike most of these films, the nudity or the sex doesn’t seem contrived and is in service of the story – which is not something I expected.
Read the title – you know exactly what this film is going to be, and it delivers on all of those things exactly as you expect. It’s fun, it’s silly and it has a cyber-mutant, check it out if you get the chance.
Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity is out now on DVD in the UK, released by 88 Films.
Review by Allan Taylor