Parker DVDDirector: Taylor Hackford
Screenplay: John C McLaughlin
Starring: Jason Statham, Jennier Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Nick Nolte
Producers: Les Alexander, Steve Chasman
Country: USA
Running time: 118 minutes
Year: 2013
Rating: 15

For some reason filmmakers like to try and make us believe that there is some kind of honour amongst thieves. That although they are bad, they have a code by which they live by. This is the main idea behind Parker.

Jason Statham, that renowned non-thespian, plays the eponymous anti-hero/hero (delete as appropriate) Parker - a man who likes to break rules (theft, ABH, aggravated burglary with violence and so on) but has rules for this rule breaking that he doesn’t like to break. Got that?

So he and his crew do a robbery where they get a stash of cash that they had planned to split between them. Parker wants to take his cut and go (where we don’t know) but the rest of the gang want to plough all the money into the next heist, which Parker isn’t interested in.

I won’t say what happens, although it is pretty much all in the trailer on IMDb, but suffice to say they have a disagreement and Parker ends up dead in a ditch. Or does he? Well no, otherwise this would be a very short film. Unfortunately it isn’t.

For another hour or so we see Parker working out a way that he will reap his revenge on this gang, with the help of the local Miami real estate agent played by Jennifer Lopez. Thankfully Jenny from the block provides some much needed eye-candy in what is quite a tiresome plot where I did start to lose focus and think of odd jobs I could be doing. The TV is looking a little dusty, have I put the bins out and does the dishwasher need emptying? These aren’t things you should be thinking about when watching a film.

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The trouble is that’s what Parker is like. In fact if you are in any way interested in the film, watch the trailer because it isn’t so much as a teaser for the film as pretty much the film condensed down to 2 minutes 30 seconds.

There is also a strange cameo from a very white looking Nick Nolte. It took me a while to work out that is was actually him because he looks so pale, he’s almost see-through. And to this day I’m not actually sure as to why he is even in the film in the first place.

Parker does have some good action sequences and there is the occasional good, Arnie-esque one-liner (again they're in the trailer) but other than that it is purely for Jason Statham fans only. I imagine there is such a person as a Jason Statham fan, other than his mum. In fact there must be because he does seem to be in quite a few films these days. even if they are straight to DVD as with this one.

Review by Henry Tucker

About The Author

A film lover with eclectic tastes that range from pretty much any European cinema to war films, comedies and the occasional Hollywood (leave your brain at the door) blockbuster.

2 Responses

  1. Dan O.

    Good review Henry. I’ll admit it, it’s a dumb movie, but I can’t say that I didn’t have fun with it and when it first came out at the end of January, that’s all I needed for an hour and a half.

    Reply
  2. Justin

    I believe Parker did actually get a short-lived cinema release (nationwide), but it was only for a week. I guess the generally poor to average reviews/ word-of-mouth didn’t help it stay in cinemas for any longer!

    Reply

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