We've had a bit of a sabbatical. Work and life stopping us from the complicated and time consuming tasks of writing 17 syllables..... But here we are again, back on track for your ADHD needs. Blueprint: Review team went to cane and watch a fair few films and here are all the haikus. WARNING: There's a lot!

As usual, if you like Haiku's then follow our Twitter account @blueprintrev where we tweet hundreds and thousands of them (well, maybe 30). Please feel free to tweet your own Haiku reviews (don't forget #haikureview) and we'll keep an eye out and re-tweet them; and of course post the best ones on this site. They will be chosen for their comedy or their quality, it appears the two are exclusive!

Darren's Haikus - @darrenleebolton

MOONRISE KINGDOM
Wes' forced style,
With poor script and bad acting.
Grates from start to end.

KILLING THEM SOFTLY
Excluding Brad Pitt,
This is sloppy in all ways.
Kill me quickly. Please.

MYSTERY
The only Mystery
Is how the fuck this film made
The competition!

POST TENEBRAS LUX
Man pulls his own head
Off at the end. Thats what I
Wanted to do too!

THE HUNT
The best film of Cannes.
Superbly judged and controlled
Kiddy fiddler pic!

PAPERBOY
Kidman pisses
All over Zac Efron. I don't
Know what more to say!

AMOUR
At times beautiful.
At other times labouring.
Close to amazing.

HOLY MOTORS
Bizarre and creative.
Slight story and no drama,
Spoil nice idea.

COSMOPOLIS
Terrible acting.
Disguised by an awful script.
Good end but too late.

MUD
Maybe a touch slight,
But solid, well judged and paced.
Refreshing at Cannes.

RUST AND BONE
Great style and acting.
But the unlikeable lead
Destroys engagement.

SIGHTSEERS
One of the worst films
I've ever, ever, ever,
Ever, ever seen!

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
Fantasy drama,
With stunning turn from the kid.
A stunning debut.

HEMMINGWAY & GELHORN
Awful TV film.
Clive camping it up is fun,
But that's all it's got.

ROOM 237
Is this film about
Shining, or insane people?
Don't think the film knows.

THE LITHIUM CONSPIRACY
Guns, boobs, spies and deals!
A thriller by the numbers.
In italian.

AI WEIWEI: NEVER SORRY
Fascinating doc
Of his works social power,
And the man himself.

ANTON CORBIJN: INSIDE OUT
The cliched loner
Story wears thin. He's just not
Interesting enough.

David's Haikus - @dave_or_did

STUDENT
Hungover students
Have more life than this dull film.
It's no Pickpocket

LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
New print looks pristine.
Sand has never looked so good.
Four hours well spent

Laura's Haikus - @kavanagh_l

HOLY MOTORS
Life imitates art,
Or something along those lines.
Good, but way too long.

POST TENEBRAS LUX
Can honestly say
This is the most boring film
I have ever seen.

Damien Beedham's Haikus

AMOUR
Haneke's latest
Is head and shoulders above
The competition.

MOONRISE KINGDOM
Quirky but soulless.
This disappointing film is
Wes Anderson lite.

KILLING THEM SOFTLY
Stylish and violent
Gangster pic suffers from no
Subtlety. Good though.

RUST AND BONE
Bare knuckle fighting.
Learning to live without legs.
Not Audiard's best.

COSMOPOLIS
Capitalism.
Odd dialogue and limos.
Please, no more of this!

PARADISE LOVE
Austrian female,
Quinquagenarians' search
For 'love' in Kenya.

POST TENEBRAS LUX
Why oh why oh why
Did this ever get funded?
How bad? Words fail me.

LAWLESS
Hillcoat's latest is
More white spirit than whiskey.
Quite disappointing.

LIKE SOMEONE IN LOVE
Tokyo set story
Of young girl and old man is
Unsatisfying.

HOLY MOTORS
Marmite of a film.
Either love it or hate it.
I couldn't stand it!

MUD
Love, friendships and crime
On banks of Mississippi.
Good but not superb.

THE HUNT
What's this? Stop the press!
A Cannes film with a story.
Vinterberg is back.

THE PAPERBOY
An absolute mess.
Not so bad it's good. Just bad.
Why was this in Cannes?

REALITY
Fair to middeling
Grand prix winner. Jury need
reality check.

BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD
Louisiana
Swamp life seen through eyes of girl.
Stunning debut film.

7 DAYS IN HAVANA
Portmanteau project
From seven Cannes favourites.
One day would suffice.

CLEO 5 TO 7
Nouvelle Vague classic,
Screened with director present.
Typically French.

JOUNRNEY TO ITALY
Another film from
Rossellini restored. Three
Down. Seven to go.

ANTON CORBIJN: INSIDE OUT
Detailed portrait of
Photographer/director
is interesting doc.

AI WEIWEI: NEVER SORRY
Four years with Weiwei.
This film is nothing less than
Inspirational.

THE LITHIUM CONSPIRACY
Saw this by mistake.
Silly Italian thriller
is lightweight nonsense.

ROOM 237
Doc on The Shining.
No insights here, but rather
recondite nonsense.

SIGHTSEERS
Ben Wheatley offers
a comedy with no laughs
How embarrassing?

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